Former US Senator Heidi Heitkamp, the director of the Institute of Politics, was the first woman senator elected from North Dakota. A Democrat, she served from 2013 to 2019. Heitkamp delivered her remarks on Class Day this past May.

Four years ago, I became a fellow at the Institute of Politics and was introduced to many of the students in this class. After six years as a United States senator in Washington, DC, I was desperate for a reason to be optimistic about the future of our country and the world. I found that optimism and hope here at the University of Chicago in every student that I met and in every conversation that I had.

There’s an old saying that every person is the average of the five people who you spend the most time with. I chose to spend time with people who inspire me to be better, to think harder, and to believe our better years are ahead of us.

To the Class of 2024, you made it. COVID-19 robbed you of the last year of high school and denied you a normal beginning of your college freshman experience. But yet you persisted, adapted, and achieved.

You are also graduating in the middle of a national debate about the meaning of free speech and free expression. The Chicago Principles and the Kalven Report are seminal doctrines in the study of free expression on college campuses. In my opinion, they are what make the University of Chicago a unique and thriving academic environment.

But in a few days—or for those of you who are pursuing graduate programs, in a few years—you will not be in a campus environment. The rules will change.

Yes, in the United States, you will always have the right of free speech guaranteed by the First Amendment. That means you can stand on a street corner and express your opinion. But the most important question you should ask yourself is, “Who’s listening?”

The essential purpose of free speech in a democracy is not just to express opinion or frustration but to persuade. Who are you persuading?

At the Institute of Politics, we have always sought to be a place for free exchange of ideas, a place to grapple with difference not as an exercise in debate, but as an expression of our values in a vibrant democracy.

As a politician whose election to the United States Senate was dependent on persuading 22 percent of people on “the other side” to vote for me, I have achieved some level of skill in the art of persuasion. I have walked into hostile rooms of voters who disagreed with me. My goal always was to listen and understand where people were coming from, and to express my opinion in a way that helped people understand my position better. If they changed their minds, that was a bonus. Listening to the other views for me was never a sign of weakness, but rather of intellectual strength.

Whether your purpose is to persuade politicians to support your cause, or to persuade your work colleagues or bosses of the brilliance of your good idea, I offer what I hope are some strategies for persuasion.

Really listen to the other side. I don’t mean give the other side equal time. I mean really listen—really understand a different perspective or point of view. A tactic of a good lawyer is to write the opposing brief first. That way they are better prepared and better able to persuade. As a bonus to listening to the other side, you might just find some common ground to achieve a successful solution.

As we say in the West, “Leather up.” Put your armor on. There is a reason why football players trash-talk the other team. When you are angry, you lose the ability to perform at your highest level. Don’t overreact to everything that is said. Don’t fall into the anger trap.

Finally, give grace. At a recent IOP event, Rhymefest, a rapper from the South Side and an IOP fellow, was recounting his frequent summer experiences in Cody, Wyoming. He talked about the insensitive things that some denizens of Cody would say to him. When the moderator asked him, “How did you deal with that?” he said, “I gave them grace.” The simple act of immediate forgiveness may lead to reconnection, and reconnection may lead to another opportunity to persuade.

Read an interview with Heitkamp in the University of Chicago Magazine.